Love at First Site: The Role of Social Media in Modern Dating

Abstract

This paper aims to discover how the norms of social media based communication when building a relationship are shared and understood by young adults, and if they are seen as an advantage or hindrance in dating. Through ten interviews with participants aged 20-24, I intended to find out how young adults use social media in their dating lives, what they think and feel about its relevance in dating, and how they understand others’ use of social media in dating. This research found that young adults have varying preferences for the frequency and type of social media communication they use, but always see it as something that is necessary in building a romantic relationship, and that they use the norms to their advantage to present themselves in favourable ways, indicate their interest in someone, and choose the best way to approach a romantic interest. I analyze these findings using Gagnon & Simon’s (1973) Sexual Script, Cooley’s (1902) Looking Glass Self, and Goffman’s (1959) Impression Management to explain young adults’ use of social media norms. I suggest that the increased inclusion of social media in young adults’ sense of self and identity and their understanding of the norms allow them to use social media to their advantage in dating, even when it may not be their preference.